Straight Vermouth Is Ruining America!
I keep hearing about all the problems caused by Straight Vermouth, and I am tired of it!
Apparently, Straight Vermouth is creating havoc with our gas prices, shipping, and commerce.
This is ridiculous! And Donald Trump is involved, and he doesn’t even drink!
Why does he care about Vermouth?!
Furthermore, few people even drink it straight. They add it to martinis and Manhattans.
If it is hurting our economy, let’s get rid of it, and get rid of it NOW!
**MODERATOR:** Excuse me, but people are talking about the *Strait of Hormuz*, a major shipping route near Iran. Disruptions there can interfere with oil shipments and cause gasoline prices to rise.
**ME:** Well, somebody should have explained that before I got so upset!
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